It has now been about seven months since the most difficult day of my life. God has taught me a lot through this time. Once again he has always been there and shows himself faithful.
I have been going through a nine week Bible study specifically made for women who have had miscarriages or any type of death of their baby. This had been a wonderful practical way to work through my grief. The last stages are about letting go and finding hope. Jonah will always be my first son but I won't constantly dwell on what could have been, or what happened, or what went wrong. My hope comes from God and through his blessing of another little son growing inside me!
I was quite nervous for the first 20 weeks of the pregnancy. Well, more specifically I almost ignored the fact that I was pregnant until I started to show around the end of June. Then I became pretty anxious that I would go to the bathroom one moment and discover mucus or blood again. When I started to feel him move, I relaxed a little. Till one day when I thought he wasn't moving much and I was on edge and jumpy all day. But the next day and since then I've been feeling his little blips a whole lot, and it gives me great joy.
At my 20 week appointment I measured at 25 cm which is a whole lot bigger than normal. For those that don't know you should measure at 1 cm per week after 20 weeks. So that was strange. At my 24 wk I was at 26 cm so that was better. Tomorrow I will be 27 weeks along! I just praise God that we've made it this far! If he's born now its possible he could survive. Some people say I should hope for a 38 or 39 wk delivery because he might be a big baby, but I personally hope he goes the whole 40 weeks.
Staying home, I've had a lot of time to read (this will change in December!). I read all of the library's pregnancy books so now I'm on to parenting books. Some ways of doing things I have never heard of before, and I would like other Christians opinions on how closely they adhere to Gods standards for parenting. There are several so this will be the topics of my blog posts for a while. First is actually a decision I have already made up my mind about, but would like others experiences and opinions.
I am having a home birth. Seems like God designed birth to happen safely even if he did curse it to be painful for the woman. Hospitals are for medical emergencies. If I came upon an emergency during labor or birth, we live right next to a hospital and would go to the er, like we did for Jonah. So please give me feedback on your experiences, wisdom, and opinions of home birth. Thanks!
